“woke” + awakening

I have been living in a Buddhist Monastery for the past 6 months. So that’s 6 months of morning meditation at 5:30 am, evening meditation that ends at 9:00pm, no food after noon since we eat 2 meals a day, no entertainment, and more. Also, for the past 2 months we’ve been on silent meditation retreat, so the amount of times I’ve had to speak so far this year is less than what I would normally speak in a week.

I am not on a spiritual journey.

There is nothing temporary about this, nothing exotic, or even special. I am woo woo, always have been, always will be and I am just fine tuning it now. I will talk about Spirit, crystals, sage and your energy. I am also Blackity Black Black Black. This is not mutually exclusive.

One thing I notice in the high vibration, law of attraction communities is that acknowledging my Blackness means that I have not ascended enough because being “spiritual” means seeing no color.

How do I put this? This way of thinking is damaging and silencing. As if to say ‘your lived experience is not welcome here. Walk in love…like I do.’ That’s not walking in love, that’s walking in privilege. Why does acknowledging the rainbow mean you are not love? Where do people bring their pain if spiritual communities cannot see them and their color? How can one be guided in transcending by someone who cannot see?

The only way that I have gotten to non-self is by first acknowledging that I am skin and spirit, skin and spirit, skin and spirit. Once all of me is integrated, then I can look upon my body and say…”This is not mine; I am not this; this is not my self.”

[VISIBILITY DAY 19]

EDIT: This community at Buddhist Insights is rooted in Dhamma, not ego, so they see me, love me and call ALL of me forth. They are more committed to the robes than to privilege because, as they said, “the Buddha does not condone silence." I wouldn’t be here 6 months otherwise and do not stay where there’s no alignment (which is a newly embraced privilege for me—leaving or staying).

Being “woke” and awakening is also not mutually exclusive.